Wednesday, December 5, 2012

Porkies and the Truth About British Nuts

In the English Midlands, not far from the ancient city of Leicester, lie thousands of acres of rich, sun-baked soil upon which lie some of the largest peanut farms in the world.

Are You Nuts?
From these giant farms, whose fields stretch all the way from the hard shoulder of Britain's M1 motorway to the borders of the fenlands of eastern England, KP harvests the finest, plumpest, richest-flavoured peanuts to be found anywhere.

Yes, You Are Nuts! Bonkers! Cuckoo!
Humbug. What a load of old codswallop. But it was a nice story wasn't it? If Leicestershire ever gets the kind of semi-tropical conditions necessary for growing peanuts there will be palm trees growing in Orkney.

At Last, the Truth!
Anyway, wouldn't it be nice to have a nice big tin of peanuts prepared the British way to perch on the arm of the sofa while you enjoy the odd sip of Christmas cheer and nod off during the Queen's Christmas message to the Commonwealth on the goggle box after a honking great plate of turkey with all the trimmings and way too much Christmas pud with rum sauce followed by mince pies? Now that sounds good and ain't that the truth!

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